It is now nearly 7 months since losing my husband of 52 years. I feel fairly ‘normal’ most of the time, aside from having little energy nor interest in doing much of what has sustained me in the past. And yet when I try to do a random digital task, my brain fails me. It is then I am reminded, it has not been that long really and the grief brain continues. It is abundantly clear to me now why ‘they’ say don’t make any life-changing decisions for the first year. Which leads me to wonder is trying to export my contacts list from Mail Chimp really that life-changing?
As a very tech-savvy person, this task is driving me quite insane. I have followed the ‘help’ screen instructions and no go. I have watched the YT videos and no go. I cannot get my contacts list exported! Why do I care? Because this marketing platform has become so cumbersome with their ongoing “improvements” that I can no longer put myself through the torture of trying to communicate, by using it. I found an easier one to use, but dang if I can export my contacts to actually start using it! I thought to ask a colleague to sign in and do it for me, when grief brain allowed a random good idea through, so maybe I do have the answer now; whereas I spent hours yesterday just trying to figure it out! Apparently grief brain needed rest.
Alternatively grief brain worked awesomely last week while I resized and uploaded my morning walk photos to a new page on my website. Friends who no longer do social media had suggested I do this and I said, sure but never did it. So last week I finally did it, and was pleased how grief brain allowed me to complete a thinking task, for several hours. Of course I did not include every morning walk photo but as time goes by, I will occasionally add more in there. Especially because the intro says I started taking photos of peeling paint and cracks in the sidewalk, so I am slowly ferreting out those early images and posting them.
Aside from mastering the resizing of batch photos & posting to the walk photo gallery, I was reminded how much I am drawn to orange! So much orange! My website designer pointed out to me, early on, that I have made a lot of orange work, which actually I had not noticed previously! So yes, the orange continues to be a constant through my morning walks, especially in autumn. I will challenge myself going forward to look for other colors. Though I do know from past experience that January is primarily earth tones of brown, grey, and taupe, so there is that.
That is about it for now. My art-making remains on hiatus. I am not stressed about it. I know it will revive when the time is right. In the meantime, there are my morning walks which refresh me, body, soul and especially grief brain.