one size 13 step at a time…

I am in a very weird place with my knee replacement recovery.  At almost 8 weeks my mental energy has returned with a vengeance but my physical body (the knee anyway) is not able to keep up! I continue to work hard in physical therapy, alternating with gym workouts and walking the track. I am walking some at home without the cane but still using it out in the world. I am driving again but with few places to go where I can stand for more than 15-20 mins. Short trips to pick up a few groceries or in the kitchen making a quick lunch or breakfast…things are progressing.

Before surgery I left a design template on the wall to inspire me to get back to my art-making. I also picked out the fabrics for same. This is my practice whenever I travel to have something other than a blank wall staring back at me to motivate me to get on with it.  I’ve been thinking that perhaps this week or next I will start work on it.

And yet I am not sure I want to. Much of my mental process during this recovery has been about my art. For so many reasons I feel as if I am on a precipice …but of what I am not yet sure!  My father’s death in June combined with my 2nd knee replacement in 9 months have catapulted me into a new chapter in my journey. I am not yet sure where I am, where I am going or what I am supposed to be doing etc.

And yet I know from past experience that I am over-thinking it. I simply need to get out of my own way. Whatever it is may not even happen now. I just need to stop trying to figure it out,  get back into the studio and futz around on anything, not necessarily what is on the wall…just something to get those creative juices flowing again…one size 13 step at a time!