Defining Moments 12: Motherhood, background under the needle
I have often heard it said that getting to know someone is like peeling an onion. My new style of working is more like peeling the onion, in reverse. It is a layering process.
Ever since I succumbed to the siren call of the mid-arm my whole style of designing has changed. Now, because I can, I stitch each piece in layers. First I piece the background and then quilt that. No more skies that start and stop at the edge of a building. Now the sky goes all the way across as a sky does. No more fused parts loosening up and dog-earring while stitching an entire piece. Now the machine appliqué parts are fused and then stitched, in their own time. It is so much easier and truly remarkable how much more professional the work looks doing it this way.
stitching text
I am currently wrapping up Defining Moments 19: Motherhood which has been a bear to create. It was a bear because I could not figure out what I wanted to say or how I wanted to say it. I was reminded by my favorite aunt that motherhood for me was a challenge, and like all people, places or things that have challenged me in this life; they also have challenged me in the series. I was at a total loss for a design. I knew I needed to include Motherhood as a defining moment but oy, how? Finally I just sat down and started writing, free thinking if you will, just writing without editing. And what come out was remarkable.
free-writing, also screen the background
I wrote about how I never considered whether I wanted kids or not, because that is not what women in my generation did. We got married and had kids. It was the norm, it was expected. It’s what you did. Some might question how I could even admit that and yet I am here to tell you that my daughter, now grown, made her own decision not to have children, in her 20’s. When she told me, I thought what great courage and integrity it took to make that decision and do something about it. Perhaps her decision gave me permission to admit publicly I was uncertain if I should reproduce or not.
Another thing that came through the writing was my battle with postpartum depression. I struggled through it for many months and had never really spoken much of it, certainly not at that time. Those two issues alone make for a very strong piece about motherhood.
collage of daughter’s childhood images
Then I decided to then add something that personified the blessing that came to me through motherhood. So I made a collage on silk organza of some of the most wonderful photos of my daughter growing up. This adds the paradox of my motherhood experience; from all that worry and stress came this beautiful baby who grew into a woman of such integrity and conviction. She continues to be one of my greatest teachers, as I peel back the layers.
Happy Mothers Day!
Carol, I identified so strongly with your thinking about motherhood. No one in my family had gone to college, certainly not women. I went one semester and got married and there was no money for such a frivolous activity. After all, I had arrived–had a husband who adored me. Two precious children later when we needed a second income, I went to work. Luckily, I was smart and worked for a prestigious and honorable law firm which piled responsibility on me as I showed the ability to handle it. Having children was the right thing for me, but not for my daughter–like yours. Isn’t it wonderful that women have the right to choose now??!!
Quilting and art came later–I call it my grown-up second life. But we are the sum total of all our experiences, and the joy of motherhood is still there 60 years later!
Thanks Marrha for your comments. Our stories have certainly paralleled with second life career changes and daughters who have made good choices for themselves.