Life happens when we are making other plans…being a semi-grounded person most of the time I am frequently reminded of this expression in my own life and in witnessing others. Three days ago I got a huge reminder when my husband was admitted to the hospital with a pulmonary embolism. While I generally refrain from blogging about kin, I make exception now as I realize his life happenings greatly affect mine. Try as I might it appears quite likely that once I recover emotionally and physically from his life happening I will still be involved in the short tether from which he will now live.
He has been both blessed with a lifetime of good health and cursed with a consistent lack of healthy living. Now his hand has been forced and he must comply to rules made by others for his body to highly function. Early on I was angry as he had fallen off his bicycle, bruising his ribs and did nothing about it. I voiced my protest by announcing I would not be the enforcer.
Now reality has set in and I realize as long as we share a name and cohabitate I share a responsibility in this too. It is not a matter of refusing to monitor his condition but rather one of teamwork to make sure we keep him in the best shape possible.
As one who has lived with chronic pain as long as I can remember it is eye-opening and sad to witness one who has been blessed with good health struggle with the short leash he is now on. Eventually he will adjust and we both will go back to making other plans. Who knows…maybe there is an art piece in this?
Jenny Lyon says
Glad to hear he’s ok! What a lifestyle change this must mean for both of you-could be fun!
Connie Rose says
Good luck with it all, Carol. I’ve been recently having my own physical difficulties, and although I’ve lead a pretty healthy life and am generally in very good health, I’ve been forced to slow down a lot and reassess my own plans. I never really imagined I’d get to this place — this aging place, but here I am.
All the best to you both.
they say old age ain’t for sissies!
Jeanne Marklin says
I’m sure your empathy will help you both get through this adjustment to lifestyle changes. Maybe his health will improve as he makes changes. Getting older really sucks, but so does the alternative. My husband went through a health scare two years ago, and it made me realize how sad I would be without him. It was a good wake up call for me.
I share your angst. I have a husband who has had such good health, but ignores his aging body and does things that I think are very risky. He resents my nagging. What to do. For now, I let him be.
Hope your partner is strong and well, soon. Take care.
Gerrie…This is it exactly. Why would any spouse choose to be a nag I ask you?!
Gay Ousley says
Carol, my husband has been battling health problems for several years now. After bouts with several things, including cancer, he finally sees the need to take care of himself. He was diagnosed with Rheumatiod Arthritis in January and last month learned that he may have a recurrance of cancer. Yes, your life is bound to be affected by this. In our case, we have to drive 3-4 hours each way to see the specialists and sometimes it is last-minute notice. This has reenforced in me the need to take care of myself and to be more organized with my studio days.
And, yes, of course, there will be art to come out of all this! Keep us posted. Glad he is adjusting.
Lee Isbell says
I’ve been holding my breath, awaiting the outcome for your husband. My son lost his wife to a pulmonary embolism just before Christmas. They found her too late to do anything, so it has such dire associations in my mind. I’m not sure exactly what the short leash will consist of, but it’s better than the alternative. Sending out good thoughts to your husband and to you.
OMG Lee that is awful. I don’t think my husband has yet fully grasped the seriousness of this. His short leash includes nasty medications, food restrictions, driving restrictions, alcohol/tobacco restrictions, no skiing, bike riding etc. He has lived his entire life doing exactly what he wanted when he wanted. And suddenly he can’t. It is an adjustment for all…